One of the most important, yet often overlooked, foundations of a successful relationship is open communication about money. For young couples or those newly married, understanding how to discuss financial topics with your partner can pave the way for a stronger partnership and shared financial goals. At TFO Wealth Partners, we believe that connecting wealth and purpose applies not only to families but also to the relationships that build them. Here are some tips to help young adults and newly married couples have productive and meaningful conversations about money.
Start with Your Values
Money is more than just dollars and cents—it’s a reflection of your values, priorities, and dreams. Before diving into the numbers, take time to discuss what matters most to each of you. Ask questions like:
- What does financial success mean to you?
- What are your biggest financial dreams (e.g., owning a home, traveling, early retirement)?
- How did your family approach money when you were growing up, and how has that shaped your view of finances?
Understanding each other’s financial mindset can help you align your decisions with shared values and respect each other’s perspectives.
Create a Safe Space for Honesty
Talking about money can feel vulnerable. One partner might have debt or spending habits they’re not proud of, while the other might feel pressure to save aggressively. Set the tone for open and judgment-free conversations. Be honest about your financial situation, including debts, savings, and any financial challenges you’ve faced. Transparency builds trust and allows you to approach finances as a team.
Set Shared Goals
A key part of any money conversation is establishing shared goals. These goals can be short-term (like saving for a vacation), medium-term (buying a house), or long-term (retirement planning). When you’re on the same page about where you’re headed, it’s easier to make decisions about budgeting, saving, and spending.
Make your goals as specific as possible. For example:
- Instead of “Save money,” aim for “Save $10,000 over the next 12 months for a down payment.”
- Instead of “Spend less,” aim for “Cut dining out expenses to $200 per month.”
Build a Budget Together
Creating a budget together is a practical way to manage your finances as a couple. A budget doesn’t have to be restrictive—it’s a tool to help you align your spending with your values and goals.
Discuss how you want to allocate your income. Some couples prefer to pool their finances, while others keep separate accounts and contribute to shared expenses proportionally. Whichever approach you choose, ensure it feels fair and balanced to both of you.
Discuss Roles and Responsibilities
Every couple handles financial responsibilities differently. Some prefer to have one partner take the lead on managing the budget or paying bills, while others divide tasks equally. Decide together what works best for your relationship. The key is ensuring that both partners stay informed and involved in major financial decisions.
Have Regular Money Check-Ins
Money conversations aren’t a one-time event. Schedule regular check-ins to discuss your finances, track your progress toward goals, and address any concerns. A monthly or quarterly “money date” can make these discussions feel less daunting and even enjoyable.
During your check-ins, cover topics like:
- Reviewing your budget
- Assessing progress on your goals
- Planning for upcoming expenses
- Addressing any unexpected changes in your financial situation
Plan for the Unexpected
Life is unpredictable, and having a plan in place for unexpected events can ease financial stress. Discuss topics like:
- Building an emergency fund
- Obtaining life and disability insurance
- Creating or updating a will
While these conversations may not be the most exciting, they’re essential for protecting each other and your future
Seek Outside Guidance if Needed
If you find it challenging to navigate financial conversations or make decisions, consider working with a financial professional. A neutral third party can provide guidance, help you create a financial plan, and ensure that both partners’ voices are heard.
Final Thoughts
Money conversations with your significant other don’t have to be intimidating. With open communication, shared goals, and a commitment to working as a team, you can build a financial foundation that supports your dreams and strengthens your relationship. Remember, it’s not just about the numbers—it’s about creating a life together that reflects your shared values and aspirations.